TGIF

It's mine and you can't have it!

Do I need to Comment?

Excuse me while I have a hissy fit...

No Dog in that Fight

OK, so this Thursday post is a few hours late.  Don't worry, there'll still be a TGIF post later.  It has been one heck of a week, and the weeks after a big trial always are, because we put everything else on the back burner until it's over.  We have a few new cases here in the Trenches.  One of them is a Best Interest Attorney case.  A Best Interest Attorney here in Maryland is an attorney appointed by the court to represent a minor child's best interest in a custody dispute between his or her parents.  They are, obviously, very highly conflictual cases, because a BIA is only appointed when the court feels there is a really high probability that one or both parents are so caught up in their conflict over their child that they can no longer accurately view their child's best interest.  Here in the Trenches, we love this role.  For the most part, our BIA clients do not have a dog in the fight, and they don't want to be caught in the middle (even though they are).  They haven't lived long enough to learn the subtleties of lying well, so they don't.  They are thrilled someone is listening to them and taking the pressure off of their backs (if you're in a high conflict case and think your children don't know and don't feel the pressure to choose, think again).  Witnesses love talking to the BIA once they learn about the role, because the BIA is there for the child.  Usually, one parent is not thrilled with the BIA at the end, but you can't please everyone all the time, and BIAs just need to please the Court with their thoroughness and look out for the best interest of their child client.  It is one of the truly collaborative (small "c") roles in litigation, as the BIA works with the child and the therapist and the school and the child's support network, to make recommendations that will help keep the child out of the middle and allow them to flourish.  It's a tough job, but the rewards are large too.  Here in the Tenches.

Breaking Out of the Doldrums

I spent the entire day in depositions today.  I wasn't taking the deposition, I was defending.  What does it mean to defend a deposition?  Well, some lawyers think it means that you sit there, bored, while the other lawyer barrages your client with questions.  As the other lawyer is allowed to ask any question that is likely to lead to the discovery of relevant information, they have a lot of latitude, and the defender doesn't have a lot to which to object.  That's why most lawyers find defending depositions boring.  I love defending.  Not having to think of questions or follow up questions, frees me up to observe the room.  I can see how my client reacts to questioning in general, and to specific questions.  I can see how she handles herself under questioning, whether she has any processing difficulties, what gets a rise out of her.  I can also observe the other spouse, if they're there.  I can see the emotion under the surface, what she says that gets under his skin, how invested he is in her deposition, the line of questioning, in making her squirm.  I can see how he handles himself when the spotlight isn't on him.  I can also watch my opponent and see how he questions, what he thinks is important to his case, and how he relates to my client.  Defending a deposition, boring?  Never!

Requiem For A Horse

On Saturday, our Erin (hey, she may be working at the courthouse now, but she'll always be "our" Erin) lost her horse, Poltergeist (known to his friends as Polie).  He was in the field with his herd and suffered an injury to his leg.  What most people don't know about horses is that of the 205 bones in a horse's body, almost half of them are in their legs.  That means that those bones are not all that big.  Horses also bear most of their weight on that structure of fairly small bones.  Unlike humans, horses can't lie down and keep the bone immobile while it heals.  Their anatomical structure requires them to keep upright and keep moving the majority of the time or suffer respiratory and circulatory problems.  That's the reason serious leg injuries kill a horse more often than not.  Polie was Erin's faithful companion, and she (as well as all of us who knew him in all his splendor and goofiness) mourns his loss.
So, what does this have to do with the Trenches?  Plenty, actually.  Polie was a magnificent horse, large and powerful, yet graceful (when he wasn't spooking at his own shadow or a random tree!).  People are always surprised that animals who look as strong as a horse can be so fragile.  Some marriages are like that too.  Look at Seal and Heidi Klum or Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.  To all outward appearances, those were two of the strongest marriages in Hollywood.  Seal and Heidi Klum renewed their vows every year on their anniversary.  Will and Jada Pinkett Smith were Hollywood's power couple.  Yet, it turns out that beneath the visible exterior, there were deep cracks.  Like poor Polie's injury, the cracks weren't caused by anything extraordinary:  time and distance apart.  Just like Polie's injury, the continuing time apart compounded upon itself to create a marriage ending injury.  Most of the time, it isn't anything major that ends a marriage; it's the little things that add up to reveal and widen stresses and cracks that cause separations and divorces.   If we need a reminder to pay attention to the little things because they take care of the big things, this is probably it.  Here in the Trenches.

TGIF

Long 2 Weeks

Long Drive Tomorrow

TGI Sunday!

A Rare Experience

I have been a lawyer for 23 years, and worked here in the Trenches for 17 of them.  In that time, we have prepared countless clients and witnesses for trial.  We work with them on their testimony, their demeanor, their choice of language, their general attitude.  All of that work is to further our global vision and theory of the case (yes, we always have one).  We know what matters to the court and what doesn't. Heck, we've been doing this a long time.  Some clients blow us off - they don't need to prepare and they don't need us to tell them what to do.  Some listen to us, then forget most of what we tell them when they get into the courtroom.  Some listen to us, do some of what we tell them and then forget the rest.  Almost all of them don't understand the strategy and the purpose behind our instructions, they don't see the big picture of that we're trying to accomplish, so they are like decent actors playing a part.  It is a rare client who gets it all, understands what we're doing, why we're doing it - the method to our madness, so to speak.  They internalize the message and understand how they have to testify, what they need to say, and embody what they need to project.  They work with us in the courtroom like a team.   In 17 years in the Trenches, there have been exactly 2 of those clients.  In a lot of ways, it's a shame there aren't more of them because giving us their best enables us to give them our best.  Not only are we more energized in the Trenches with these clients, but the case flows better.  It's a cleaner, clearer presentation for the court, and gives the client their best chance to be heard and understood by the judge.  The judge's decision, well that's ultimately out of our control, but at the end of the day, we've done our best.  Here in the Trenches.

One Thing At A Time

Tackle one thing at a time.  Did your mother tell you this?  Mine did.  What she meant was to break things down into manageable pieces and tackle them one at a time.  You feel less overwhelmed, and more able to focus on the task at hand.  Well, my apologies to Mom, but in the Trenches, that advice may very well come back to haunt you.  Many of our clients are emotionally overwhelmed when they are going through a divorce or separation, and it is very tempting to listen to Mom and just handle what they have to now, and put off other things for later, when emotions have cooled and they can think more clearly.  That may be a mistake. What clients don't understand is that once the court makes a decision or people reach an agreement which is incorporated in a court order, everything from the past is done and over.  That court decision or order becomes the new starting point.   That he was a lousy father before doesn't matter if now he's a paragon of virtue; her fiscal irresponsibility is as nothing in the face of her new pecuniary accountability.  They simply don't matter except as a bit of historical perspective.  So, although it may seem like too heavy a load to bear, and too difficult a task, if a client wants to move back to their home state with the children, or thinks they should have indefinite rather than rehabilitative alimony, they need to bite off more than they can chew (to quote Mom again), and ask for it before that first order is entered.        Waiting until the time is right may be too late.