Sitting in the Catbird Seat

I awoke this morning to the sound of my puppies' tails madly thumping against something.  Except the sound wasn't my puppies and it wasn't a tail.  It was a catbird pecking at my living room window.  Now, it's late afternoon, we shooed the catbird away, and....he's pecking at my neighbor's living room mirror.  It's mating season, and the catbird sees what he thinks is another male catbird in his reflection in the window.  This is his territory, so he's anxious to run the interloper off, hence the pecking at the reflection. If anything was going to remind me of the Trenches, the catbird would be it, on a couple of different levels.
First, that darn bird has been out here all day.  He has been engaging in the exact same behavior for the last 8 hours.  It wasn't successful when he started (that darn bird is still there!), but he figures that if he just keeps at it long enough, eventually, he'll be successful.  Here in the Trenches, we see that kind of behavior all the time.  We see it in the spouse who was told their spouse wants to end the marriage, and figures if they just do more of "X", their spouse will change his or her mind.  Unfortunately for them, "X" is usually the behavior that drove their spouse to divorce in the first place.  Sometimes we see it when the spouse figures that if they just tell their spouse's attorney all of that person's failings in the marriage, the attorney will come to realize their client is "wrong," and urge them to make the changes that will allow the marriage to continue (really, this has actually happened, and more than once.).  These folks have about as much success as our catbird friend.
Second, that darn bird has been out here all day (yes, I know I'm repeating myself).  His behavior has been completely unsuccessful.  He doesn't care.  He doesn't stop and reflect about why it has been unsuccessful.  He doesn't try to change his behavior.  He just figures that persistence will pay off.  So, when we chase him away from our house, he goes to another.  Some of our clients are like that.  They made mistakes in their relationships that led them into the Trenches.  Rather than thinking about what they could do differently in the future, and what got them to where they are, they just figure it was the other person's fault, and go blithely on their way.  These folks come back to see us because nothing's changed, like the bird in the window.

TGIF

You Just Can't Help Some People

Sometimes a House is Not

Just a Money Pit

We're a Law Office,

We're Not McDonald's



Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

Some clients get it and others don't.  What is "it"?  "It" are the risks and benefits of going forward with a contested hearing.  Just this week, I was faced with two different clients who were facing a litigated hearing.  One decided to settle the matter without going to a hearing, and the other decided to go to a hearing.  What was the difference between them?  First, one of them was a client of the Trenches, and one was not.  That's important, because here in the Trenches we know that the most we promise our clients is that we will do our best for them, that we will present the facts and the law in the most favorable light to them.  What the court does with that is anybody's guess.  That little fact was driven home in a conversation we had yesterday with another attorney.  You see, we here in the Trenches won a very big relocation case about a month ago.  This other attorney was in the courtroom when the decision was announced.  He had a relocation case before the same judge the next week.  He was defending against the relocation, and had told his client that the other parent was probably not going to be able to relocate with the children.  He told me yesterday that he really rethought that advice and had to go back to his client and tell him that he might have been wrong.  That story is why we here in the Trenches never tell a client what the outcome will be if they go to court, because you never know.  What we can tell them is what we've seen, what the judges have historically done and how good we think their chances are of prevailing.  We also tell them what could happen if everything goes wrong.  How else can a client make an informed decision about what course to take?  Back to those two clients from this week.  The one who is not our client was told there is no way he'll lose in court, so he had nothing to gain from settling, except perhaps a better relationship with the other parent (which obviously wasn't that important a consideration).  Our client was told the pros and the cons.  She decided that even if she had to accept a little bit less than what she thought she'd get, she saved legal fees and avoided the very real potentiality of receiving less than half of the amount for which she settled.  She's happy because because she weighed everything against her tolerance for risk, her desire for a quick resolution and money in her pocket.  I hope that other client will be that happy after trial.  Just another day, here in the Trenches./

Just One More Rep...

In an incredibly weird piece of timing, two days before I was to go to South Florida for the ABA Family Law Section meeting and to visit Mom and Dad, Dad fell and broke his pelvis.  (Don't worry, he's doing pretty well, and I am more than a little impressed with Hollywood Memorial Hospital's rehabilitation ward - they are amazing!)  I spent my time in South Florida going between the conference and the hospital.  During some of my time with Dad, I got to participate in his physical therapy wth him.  Of course, doing that reminded me of, you guessed it, the Trenches.  As you might expect, physical therapy with a broken pelvis is incredibly painful, but it is vital if Dad wants to remain ambulatory.  Every little bit of progress hurts, but Dad keeps powering through, because he knows the pain now is necessary for him to have a full life later.  It's the same with our clients here in the Trenches.  Their time here hurts - a lot.  The people who make the effort to work through the pain, and by that I mean take our advice and take care of themselves, physically, mentally and emotionally, come out of the Trenches able to move on with their lives in meaningful, productive ways.  The people for whom the pain is a signal to stop until it goes away are the folks we see time and again.  We know it hurts, it pains us to see the hurt, but we know that only by facing the pain and working through it will life be good again. So, like Dad's physical therapist, we push and ask for just a bit more progress each day.  We want our clients to walk out of our lives with their heads up high, able to take on any challenges that come their way.  Then,we know we've succeeded - here in the Trenches.

This is a Public Service Announcement

With all of the events of the last few weeks reminding us here in the Trenches of how short life can be, I whipped out my trusty Appointment of Health Care Agent, Advance Directive and Last Will and Testament to review the information.  I realized, in light of all that has happened recently, that they need updates.  How about all of you?  When was the last time you reviewed those documents?  Do they even exist in your life?  If they don't exist or haven't been reviewed in a while, get to it.  You don't want to wait until they're needed to  do them, because then it's too late.  So, hop to it.  Today is as good a day as any - here in the Trenches.

The ABA - Why Is It Important

I've been here at the ABA Family Law Section for the past few days.  I've picked up a few tidits of legal knowledge and practice information to directly help our clients here in the Trenches.  This ABA Section has its finger on the pulse of family law around the country.  We share that information at formal continuing education seminars, and also through informal conversations among the Section's members.  In fact, a lot of the value we here in the Trenches receive from these meetings comes from our interactions from other folks who do what we do.  We make personal connections in order to help our clients and colleagues locate competent counsel in other jurisdictions. We share practice tips so we can improve how we serve our clients, how we advise them and how we share information.  We also find out that we're not alone, that the struggles we face in helping our clients are shared by our colleagues, and we help each other address those issues and support each other.  All of this benefits our clients - here in the Trenches.

The ABA Family Law Section and Me

Well, I'm off to Florida tomorrow, both to visit Mom and Dad, and to attend the ABA Family Law Section semi-annual continuing education conference (what a mouthful!).  I have't been for a while, and I miss it.  I miss seeing my friends and colleagues from around the country.  I miss the education programs.  I miss the time away from the office.  Most of all, however, I miss how I feel while I'm there and how I feel when I come home.  There's something about being with other folks who do what we do here in Trenches, who love it as much as we do, who care about their clients like we do....I always come home feeling rejuvenated.  I feel my love for this work come alive in a way I didn't think was possible.  My enthusiasm is rekindled and I feel a new dedication to our work.  My clients can only benefit, so it's a win-win for everyone.  Here in the Trenches.