Half Nelson, Ball and Chain, Cradle...Pin

My son and I don't share a lot of interests.  Yes, we love each other, but there aren't a lot of things we both enjoy together.  He was a wrestler in high school.  When he started wrestling, I knew nothing about the sport.  What I did know was that he loved it.  So, I read about wrestling and became the team videographer.  I attended every wrestling match and tournament, start to finish, taping every wrestler's match.  Obviously, I spent a lot of time at the gym.  My son never said how he felt about that, but he never has.  Then, he went to college, and I thought my wrestling days were over.  We watched some hockey together, but it wasn't the same.  Now, he's a high school teacher and .... a wrestling coach.  I'm back in the gym, this time as the coach's mom.  I'm proud of him; he's a very good coach and he really cares about the kids. I think he's glad to see me there, but who knows?  It's a way to connect.
This is, of course, about the Trenches, and as my son and I forge a new relationship as adults, I can't help but think about my clients and their children.  When parents and children live in separate homes, even for only a few days every few weeks, their relationship changes.  There is now a part of their life that does not involve that parent.  They may develop different interests and do things that they've never done before.  They may act entirely different at the other house.  It doesn't really matter (unless of course, they're in danger).  What matters is the connection between the parent and child.  What matters is finding something they both can share, even if it's not something the parent would normally do.  Parents, your child has no choice but to be part of your world, even when that world means their family breaks apart and is reformed, even when they no longer have two parents in one home, or even one home.  You have a choice as to whether to be part of their world.  Embrace it; build a new foundation with them.  Go where they are; be a part of what they love.  Children of divorce need to know that even though their physical world may change, their parents are committed to them and their well-being.  What better way than to share what they love?  Here in the Trenches.