A Time to LIve

It's funny, but I didn't realize how stressed I have been for the last year and a half, as my father became more infirm, and my mother had to cope not only with caring for his needs, but also with the loss of the man who had been her husband for over 50 years.  I thought I was handling things really well.  Sure, I was flying to Florida every 6 weeks or so.  Well, yes, I did feel exhausted all the time.  Certainly, it was a real effort to concentrate.  That was all because the office was busier, we were moving, the cases were crazier - right?  Turns out, the answer was "wrong."  Dad died 3 weeks ago today.  I miss him terribly.  I am grieving and it hurts.  I feel the rush of raw emotion periodically every day.  I still worry about my mom and her grief.   Strangely enough, however, I feel good.  My mind is clear.  I feel more organized.  I am almost back to feeling on top of everything, for the first time in a few years.  I want to talk to people.  I didn't realize how large a toll the last few years have taken until I started to come out from the fog that was created by the physical and emotional stress.
Gosh, doesn't all this sound like my clients here in the Trenches?  No, they don't have a dying father; they have a dying marriage.  They are in pain, and there are a whole lot of other people about whom they worry.  Will their children be OK?  How will their children handle the loss?  Will their children adjust to their new reality?  They are concerned their lives will never be good, much less great.  They are flooded with pain and worry.  It affects all parts of their lives.  They struggle to concentrate.  They forget appointments.  They don't want to attend happy events.  They just want to crawl into a hole and come out only when they have to do so.  Then, one day, usually after the divorce is final, they wake up and feel.....good.  They have energy to face the world.  They feel hope and positive about the future.  They feel like themselves.  Certainly, they still mourn the loss of their marriage, but they realize that their children are OK and that their life will continue, perhaps even better than before.  They are through the active part of their grief, and their bodies and minds tell them it is time for them to get on with life, the life that we helped them create.  Here in the Trenches.