Here in the Trenches, when we talk to clients about the cost of going to trial, they think dollars and cents. Certainly, going to trial is very expensive, and the financial savings realized by settling a case is not insignificant. I tell clients there are other costs to going to trial and they need to be prepared to pay them. Some understand and internalize what I mean, and others, well, they just don't. Let me give you some examples of costs that are not financial.
1. Having family and friends come to court to testify, because everyone wants everyone they love to be inconvenienced and know their dirty laundry.
2. Having family and friends forced by the other attorney to appear for a deposition, because if there's anything better than #1, it's being questioned by the other attorney about things that may only be related tangentially to your case.
3. Subjecting yourself to cross examination by the other attorney (If you don't believe that is a cost, you've never been cross examined).
4. Having the negative emotions from your divorce, that you thought you had dealt with and from which you believed you had healed, come rushing back to the surface and overwhelming you.
5. Having to deal with the uncertainty of waiting for the judge's decision, weeks or months from the day(s) of trial.
6. Having someone who doesn't know you or care about you or your family decide your future, because by definition that's a judge.
7. Having no control over what happens because that's what it means to ask a judge to decide.
8. Frustration that the rules of court don't allow everything you know to be true to come into evidence, so there will be things the judge won't know.
9. Having you and your life placed under a microscope.
Sometimes, you have to go to trial. Sometimes, for a lot of reasons, a judge needs to make a decision. Most times, however, a reasonable settlement is possible. In deciding whether to accept it, the offer itself is not the only consideration; the costs of going to trial have to play a part in your deliberations. Here in the Trenches.
This was a very eye opening post. Many people do not realize the various costs (not just monetary) that come along with going to trial. While going to trial may seem like the only option where you get to "tell your side of the story," that is not always the case. Like you mentioned, not everything will be admissible. Therefore, it is always important to consider settling outside of court.
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