I Can't See You

Back again from visiting Mom and Dad.  You know that makes me a bit pensive.  I didn't have time to ponder anything yesterday because I had trial today, but that's over, so here we are.  Dad is not doing very well.  He's aged before my eyes, even a lot since I was last down in October.   He was such a vital man, so it's really hard to see such a steep decline.  I know it's difficult for him too.  The hardest thing for him and mom is that very few people come by to see them.  With Dad, a fifteen minute visit makes his entire day.  Yet people don't come.  They think they have to stay longer, they don't know what to say.....What's really going on is that they can't deal with how he has become.  He is a reminder to everyone of what it means to get old, to be mortal and to march toward death.  They want to pretend it isn't going to happen to them.  Unfortunately, it hits them square in the face when they see my dad, so they don't.  They stay away in hopes that what he has isn't catching.
My, my, doesn't this sound like life in the Trenches?  One day, you and your spouse have lots of friends, people with whom to socialize and who you thought were your real friends.  Then, you're getting a divorce, and suddenly, like my dad, no one comes around.  You're not invited out to dinner, to the movies, to the theater.  Your friends say they'd love to talk to you, but now's not a good time.  You're no longer part of a couple, so you're not invited to couple things.  Even your single friends don't check on you anymore.  You're alone and you can't figure out why.  Like my dad, it's not you, it's them. People are afraid of divorce, and they think it's contagious.  If they just don't see you, then they can pretend that divorce isn't close enough to touch their lives.  They can delude themselves that it can't happen to them.  It still might.  With the divorce rate at 50%, that's a good chance.  If I can't see you, you don't exist - just like a toddler's game of peek a boo.  Children outgrow that game; shouldn't adults?    Go see a shut in; visit with a divorced friend. They can use the company.  Here in the Trenches.