Let's Just Bang Our Heads Against the Wall

When you put a few lawyers from the Trenches into a room, eventually the talk comes around to client control.  Most clients would shudder if they heard those words, as it sounds like they're being managed and told what to do.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  When lawyers talk about client control, what they mean is managing client expectations.  That process begins with the first client meeting and continues throughout the entirety of the representation.  Any attorney who stops midway is asking for trouble, and a client "out of control."  Here's what I mean.  From the first meeting with the client, the lawyer in the Trenches needs to do a few things.  First, they need to understand the client's story.  Second, they need to learn what the client wants.  Third, they need to help reframe what the client wants into global, wide goals.  Then comes the real management of client expectations; this is where the good lawyers are separated from the mediocre or ineffectual.  What you want in a good lawyer is one who controls the mechanics of the legal process, and who educates the client about the law, the possible interpretations a judge could put on the law, the probable applications the jude could make of that law to their facts, their spouse's story and positions, and reality tests what the client wants against what their spouse will agree or the judge would do.  Sometimes this work entails flat out telling the client they can't or shouldn't get what they want.  That is what a good lawyer does.
A not so good lawyer lets the client run the show, and decide what rules to follow and what not.  A not so good lawyer either never reality tests with the client, or gets tired of managing the client's expectations before the end of the representation (a.k.a. "they drop the ball").  The client of such a lawyer starts making just one unreasonable or unrealistic demand, and then when no one attempts to redirect them, makes more and more, until they believe that the impossible is probable.  By the latter part of the representation, the not so good lawyer realizes they need to move drastically to manage their client's expectations, but by then it's too late.  The client doesn't trust them, doesn't believe them and won't take their advice.  The client is out of control.  At that point, the client of the good lawyer, having been educated properly, believes that he or she needs to change their position to meet the unreasonable demands of their spouse.  Of course, that in turn, makes the job of the good lawyer that much harder, as they have to help their client hold their ground or to give small concessions when necessary and when they won't further empower the spouse.
So when clients ask me why I want a good lawyer on the other side of the case, maybe I'll tell them to read this post.  Here in the Trenches.