A Gambler?

I was in a custody mediation yesterday with one of my favorite mediators.  As he normally does, he told a story of one of my favorite judges, James Ryan.  What he said was that every time Judge Ryan would take the bench in a custody case, he would first ask each parent individually whether they loved their children.  Of course, the answer was always "yes."  He would say then that he didn't love their children, and yet they were asking him to make decisions about their children's lives.  That's powerful and true.  When you tell that story to clients, most of them stop and blink.  No matter how many times we here in the Trenches tell them that, they don't really seem to hear us, but when the story is about a judge, they snap to attention.  I don't know of many parents who really want a judge to make their parenting decisions, but there are a few.  Those are the folks who expect the court to hear their story, decide that they're right, and give them what they want, even after everything we do to disabuse them of that notion.  If I've said it once, I'll say it 100 times - life is not fair, and the court system is part of life.  Going to court means you lose control of the outcome, and are rolling the dice that another human being with different experiences than yours, will view the same information and come to the same conclusion as you.  Odds are not good that will happen, and you don't know until the Judge makes the decision.  Isn't it better for your children that the people who love them make the decisions about their lives?  Here in the Trenches.