It's been here.....and it's gone. I'm talking about the Disney Princess Half Marathon weekend. I came away with 3 finisher medals, 3 race t-shirts, and a horrible head cold. Lesson number 1 - if you keep going from 80 degree heat into your sub zero hotel room, you will get sick. Were there other lessons from this weekend? Of course there were.
Anyone who ever said you don't learn from victory was just plain wrong. Maybe the lessons aren't as obvious, but they're still there. Let's take the woman who won the race, in record breaking time, no less. She's a former Olympian and she smoked the course, knocking 6 minutes off the old record. What she had to say at the end of the race was that it took her a while to get used to the relaxed atmosphere of the Princess Half. She was used to a huge competitive feeling at the start. It's not there at Disney because it's not that kind of race. She also said it was disconcerting running by herself: usually there is a pack of competitors with her to help her pace. She said it took her a few miles to get used to the changes and adapt. Lesson learned if she runs a Disney race again.
In terms of costumes, we learned a lot, both from personal experience and from watching others. If it's not practical, don't wear it. Tulle tutus look great but get caught between your legs. Wearing a heavy wig or hat is not a good idea - ever. Sometime, the suggestion of a character is better than a full blown rendition, especially at mile 10 of 13.1.
What did we learn about running? In general, we learned that preparation and training are everything - unless you're 21, in which case it doesn't matter because you will finish anyway. The front of the starting corral is always better than the middle or back. It is better to be placed in a corral because of a qualifying time than because you guessed at your finish time. Getting past "the bus" is key (for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, "the bus" is really a bus, and it pulls out in front of the runners at strategic points in the race when the runners behind it have no chance of finishing the race within the time requirements. If you can get past the one or more buses, you are home free, because then they let you finish, no matter what.).
Here in the Trenches, we see plenty of 21 year olds who acted before they thought. Most of them bounce back because 21 year olds are resilient. They may or may not learn anything from the experience, but they bounce back a lot easier than our older clients. Here were my take aways that apply to the Trenches:
1. It doesn't matter whether you look at your family law dispute as a victory or as a loss. There are lessons to be learned regardless.
2. Learning what you don't want to do next time is perhaps more important that focusing on what you did right this time. That's not to say you shouldn't savor your victories, but if you can learn how to avoid the things that caused you pain or conflict, it might be more valuable in the long run.
3. Preparation is key. Rushing into things without preparing properly, unless you're 21 years old like my daughter, is not a good idea. You may feel fine at the beginning, but as time goes on, you will feel the lack of preparation. Yes, this has to do with the Trenches. I can't begin to tell you how many people rush out of one relationship and into another, without really pondering why their last relationship failed. They are usually followed by the people who don't examine what they added to the ending of their last relationship. They are our repeat customers, and for all the same reasons. Had these folks learned from what went wrong, chances are they could have avoided making the same mistakes again. Sure, they would probably make different ones, and that's human nature. The key is learning from what didn't work, and thus, increasing your chances of success.
4. Success is not always winning. Sometimes, success is trying. It's crossing the starting line and taking the chance of making mistakes. As long as you learn from them, it's never wasted effort.
5. It takes a village to win: the right kind of village. This year's Princess winner had years of coaches helping her and people supporting her to improve. Why should she be any different than the rest of us? The key is having the right kind of support. The Princess winner had people who told her what she did wrong, helped her to learn what to do right, and worked with her to improve. She didn't surround herself with people who reinforced her bad habits and told her she didn't need to change a thing. She had people tell her hard truths....and she listened to them.
We can all learn from a Princess (or 3). Here in the Trenches.
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