10 More ThingsYour Divorce Lawyer Wants You to Know

Here are 10 more things I'd like my clients to know when they end up here in the Trenches.

1.  Whatever brought you to the Trenches is not my fault.  I didn't marry your spouse; I didn't live your life.  Don't take it out on me.

2.  If the judge makes the decision, there are few, if any, do overs.  You don't get to bargain or negotiate with the judge.  Judges are paid to make decisions, and that is what they do.

3.  I've been here before.  I know what needs to happen, when and why.  If I ask you for something at a certain time and in a certain way, there's a reason for it, even if you don't know it yet.  Do it.

4.  Think about what it is you need to move forward with your life.  Think about it early and often.  Don't wait until 5 minutes before trial or mediation to start this process.

5.  Don't sign anything you haven't thought through, understand and with which you agree. Once your name is on a document, we're done.  There's nothing I can do after that to change any potential agreement.

6.  By the same token, asking questions is not a bother.  There is no question too small, too "stupid" for me to answer.  I would rather you ask and get the answers you need than make decisions that affect your future from a place of ignorance.

7.  When I tell you there is a deadline, there's a deadline.  It's not a guideline.

8.  Discovery responses need to be complete.  I know they're a pain to do, but your responses can and will be used as evidence, and can be used to limit the evidence you present at trial to what you provided in your responses.  I also need complete responses so I have a complete set of facts from which to understand where you're coming from and to be able to negotiate on your behalf.

9.  I understand more of what you are going through than you think.  You don't know my background or my life experiences.  Don't assume I have no idea of your experiences.

10.  Don't abuse the people who work for me.  They tell me how you treat them.  They tell me what you say and how you say it.  I don't like it when you yell at me.  I won't tolerate mistreating those who work for me.