10 Favorite Sayings from the Trenches

I promised my Trenches friends that I would post our favorite sayings.  Here are the top ten:

1.  I didn't have children with him/her - you did.  What were you thinking?
2.  Tens don't marry Ones.  Prince Charming does not marry Godzilla
3.  I didn't choose to marry him/her.  What happened after the "I do" is not my fault.
4.  Don't expect me to care about your life more than you do.
5.  If you couldn't make them change while you were married and happy, don't expect me to do it when you're divorcing and angry.
6.  I'd rather you pay your mortgage than mine, but you just won't listen.
7.  I don't love your children.  The judge doesn't love your children.  Why would you want us to decide what happens to them?
8.   No, there is nothing I can do.  I left my magic wand at home.
9.  Attorneys and their clients are like dogs and their owners.  Why are you surprised by your spouse's choice of counsel?
10.  If everyone were reasonable, rational and smart, we'd be out of work.

I've been told I can probably do another 10.  So colleagues, any suggestions?  Here in the Trenches.