Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Orlando, Here We Come


Well, it's done.  My friend and I made our plane reservations, reserved our room, and arranged for airport transportation for the Disney Princess Half Marathon.  Even though we both registered a few months ago, until today it was always in the back of our minds that we could quit.  Sure, we would lose the registration fee, but that wasn't much money.  No more.  Now, we have put up the big bucks, but more than that, we have taken an irrevocable (at least it seems to us) step toward running the race.  It's no longer if we run, but when we run.  It's a small difference in words, with a huge distinction in meaning.  We've reached the tipping point of our Princess experience.  Of course, there are so many things about today that remind me of the Trenches, not the least of which is that I met my friend while we both toiled there (on opposite sides of a case no less).  I could talk about how our running the race is like our clients who think about leaving their spouses, but not until they take that first concrete step toward separating does it feel real.  I could talk about how once our clients take that first step, all the other steps are easier and somehow smaller.  I could discuss how the journey toward a new stage in our clients' lives usually begins with some seemingly innocuous (to us) action which has deep meaning to them.  I could talk about all those things, but I won't.  What I want to talk about is the place of fun and whimsy in all of our lives.  My friend has had a particularly tough couple of years in her personal life (when I say "particularly," I mean "extremely").  It has been one loss after another.  As you know from this blog, the last year or so in my life has also been pretty difficult emotionally.  My woes are nowhere nearly as serious as my friend's, but they have been hard to bear, nevertheless.  The Princess Half represents, for both of us, a chance to test ourselves and to challenge the limits we've placed upon ourselves.  It is also a chance for two grown up princesses to enjoy Disney without children and to soak in the experience of such a unique race.  It's a chance to be a little silly (running in costume definitely qualifies), and to just have fun.  The race has given us something to which to look forward, and the anticipation is half of the fun.  Just making those reservations buoyed our spirits and put a spring in our steps.  So often, those of us who work here in the Trenches and our clients who find themselves here, get stuck.  We live with the emotional pain, the feeling of loss and the fear for the future that is so much a part of divorce.  Sometimes, it's difficult to remember a different kind of life, because the pain is ever present.  Planning something fun, even if it's just a little something, reminds us all that being in the Trenches is temporary and that there is still a place for joy and fun in our lives.  A bit of whimsy is what we all need to renew our spirits so we can make the changes necessary to move forward in life and for our clients, out of the Trenches.

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