Whose Life Is It?

I'm down here visiting with my parents, and bless you all, I'm reminded of the Trenches.   There have been a lot of changes down here.  My parents have a new dog.  My mom needs the dog to go out right before mom goes to bed.  Well, no one told the dog to get with the program.  The dog goes out when she wants, and she doesn't like the dark, so she won't go out before bed.   Forcing her to do what she doesn't want to do is massively frustrating for everyone, and ultimately, unproductive.  Isn't that kind of like life here in the Trenches?  Those of us who toil here know the schedule, we know what needs to happen next, and if we're in a traditional legal model, when it needs to happen.  The problem is that sometimes our clients, like the dog, aren't ready or willing to abide by our schedule.  They're not emotionally ready for the marriage to be over.  They don't have enough information to resolve the issues.  They don't process quickly enough to understand when or what we need them to understand.    That means the divorce process is frustrating for everyone involved and any resolution is unsatisfactory to at least one side of the divorcing couple.   Divorce is a huge, life-changing event, and everyone reacts to it differently.   Ideally, we need to move at the pace of the slowest client.  We need to help them understand the importance of moving forward, the situation with which they are presented, and provide them the information necessary to help them make decisions in a manner which makes sense to them.  All of the foregoing we do in collaborative practice, which is why I love it.  Now, if we can only convince the dog to go out after sunset....Here in the Trenches.