There comes a moment in every collaborative case when at least one of the clients "gets it." The funny thing is that it almost always happens in the same way. The case has progressed to the brainstorming phase. That's the point at which all of the information has been gathered, and the clients start to generate options for resolving the issues. For them, it already felt hard being in the room with their spouse, it was excruciating negotiating the custody and access arrangements, and now they are coming down the home stretch. The clients feel so many things at this point. They are tired. They're nervous. Some of them are fearful and anxious about everything being resolved and "over." They are sad. It's at this point that one of them usually breaks down. They leave the room. They can't take it any more. It's just too much. Then.....they pull themselves together and go back to work. I don't know what it is, but at that point, the clouds part and the angels sing. That client, the one who was just about to leave the meeting, leave the process, and "just let a judge decide," sees how everything is supposed to fit together and understands the reason for the process. They have hope, and are motivated and determined to find a solution. You can see it in their faces, and it feels good that in the midst of all that pain and anguish, they find success and hope. Here in the Trenches.
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