How Do You Define Success?

On Friday, I argued a motion before a judge.  It was  an extremely frustrating experience - for me.  The judge didn't know the rules of court, didn't understand what I was asking him to do, and generally didn't understand "why everyone didn't just get along."  Of course, if they could get along, they would not be divorcing.  I was so annoyed, I was spitting bullets.  I lost the motion.  Luckily for me, one of my intrepid paralegals was sitting in the gallery observing.  She also is the one who works on this case and deals with the client the most.  This is what she said.  The other side may have "won", but he sure didn't act like it.  He acted more like he felt he was lucky he didn't lose.  The judge's lecture about wasting court's time had some effect.  It might also have had some effect that the judge validated the feelings underlying his motion, so he felt heard.  We certainly didn't win, but our client wasn't upset.  She knew that the odds of our winning the motion was a bit better than even.  She was also heard; the judge heard the frustration on both sides.  Most importantly, her husband heard that she will defend her agreements and won't be bullied to change.  For her, that's a win.  She's happy.  I'm the one who is not, and for reasons about which my client and her husband do not care.    Sometimes we need those reminders that what the professional thinks is important and what may be strictly correct is not what is important to the client.  Winning and losing may not be in the result but in how the battle is fought and what the battle symbolizes.  Know thy client.  A lesson that bears repeating - Here in the Trenches.