It's About the Journey

I know you know that I run.  OK, at the speed I go, maybe we should just call it jogging.  Still, I get out there and put in the miles.  A little over two years ago, I bought the wrong  running shoes.  They were too small in the toe box.  At first, I didn't realize anything was wrong.  Sure, I noticed the toes were a little snug, but I just ran my miles.  After a while, however, my big toe started to hurt.  Then it hurt more.  I ignored it - until my knee began to lock up.  When bending becomes optional, you can no longer ignore the problem - sort of.  It was summer, so I thought I'd stop running for the summer.  After all, the pool was open and I could swim instead.  Just to make sure, I went to the doctor, who prescribed physical therapy for my knee.  At the end of the summer, I took my first running step and the pain in my toe brought tears to my eyes.  I looked for a different doctor.  I found one.  The problem was a pinched and constricted nerve in my toe.  Six days of steroids, and I was running again.  Trouble was, the whole toe problem created a bunion.  Now it was almost impossible to find a running shoe with a large enough toe box.  I started to settle for shoes that were good enough, but not right.  I was dissatisfied.  The toe started to hurt.  Surely, I couldn't be alone?  I started to search for the right shoe.  Today, I think it arrived in the mail.  I finally have a shoe with enough toe room.  My toes don't quite know what to do with the room, and it took a bit before they relaxed flat, but Imthink it's going to work.
Isn't my story like a marriage?  At first, you know there are problems, but they don't seem that bad.  You ignore them, because the rest of the marriage is so good.  After a while, thugh, you can't ignore the problems.  They are with you day and night.  That thing your spouse did that was so quirky when you were dating?  Now, it's excruciating.  Sometimes, the problem is small enough and the rest of the marriage is good enough that you can ignore the problems.  At other times, that problem starts to involve other parts of the marriage, like my toe led to my knee.  Some couples are lucky enough to find a marriage counselor who helps them solve the problem fairly easily.   Others are like me and my first doctor, and the counselor treats the wrong symptom.  Some problems, if they go on long enough, create a permanent change in the relationship.  Whether the couple can survive the change depends on a lot of things:  their desire to resolve the problem and stay together; the availability of appropriate tools and people to help them accommodate to the change; and their willingness to keep trying.  No one ever said marriage was easy.  It's hard work, kind of like finding the right pair of running shoes.  Here in the Trenches.