Most people never walk into a lawyer's office because something good has happened in their lives. Here in family law, people are as stressed as they will ever be in their lives, except when someone they love dies. If your marriage is ending, if there are problems with the custody or support of your child, you know you need help. You don't want to make the wrong choice of lawyer. How do you know which one is the right one for you? There are a lot of ways to decide, almost as many ways as there are attorneys to help you. I know it's overwhelming.
First, get a recommendation from someone you trust. That's not just from anyone, but someone whose opinion matters to you. Don't stop there. Ask them questions. What questions should you ask? How about these? How did the attorney work with you? Were you a team, consulting with each other, assessing options, planning strategy? Did the attorney take charge and tell you what to do and when and inform you of what was happening? Did the attorney do everything and not have you participate? How did you feel about the attorney's office staff? How did they treat you? How did you feel about how the attorney conducted your case? Why? What were your expectations for the attorney? Were they met? What about your attorney makes you recommend them? What didn't you like? Don't just ask these questions - really listen to the answers. Think about the answers and about how you process information. Think about how you like to be treated.
Second, call the office and make an appointment. Pay attention to how the office staff treats you on the phone. Are they courteous? Do you feel like they are listening to you? Do you think they care? Remember, they work for the attorney, and they wouldn't keep their jobs if they didn't treat the clients the way the attorney wants and tolerates.
Third, meet with the attorney. Pay for the consultation. I know, who likes doing that, but you will get some legal advice, so it's worth the money. Decide, first and foremost, whether you feel comfortable with this person. Most people know in 30 seconds whether someone makes them feel comfortable. This is a person who will know every one of your deepest, darkest secrets, and if you're not comfortable with them, you will be even more uncomfortable as time goes on. Do you think their communication style works with yours? What about their philosophy of life and how to practice family law? A client who comes to me wanting scorched earth and burned bridges will never be comfortable with me. If you recall, I'm the information girl - I want my clients to have as much information as they need to make their own decisions. I'm there to make sure they have the information, help them apply the information to their lives, and support them as they make their decisions. Not everyone is like me, and not every client wants what I offer. Which brings me to discussing how much involvement the attorney expects you to have in your case. Some want you to have a lot, and others are just as happy if you just show up for trial and trial preparation. While we're at it, do you want to go to trial, or do you want to settle the case? Do you want to leave destruction in your wake, or do you want to make sure that even in the turmoil of your divorce, everyone finds an acceptable solution? You'd better make sure your attorney is on board.
Finally, talk money. Yes, it's a dirty word, but you need to talk about it now. How does the attorney bill? For what do they bill? If they talk to their associate, for how many attorneys are you billed? The same with support staff. Do they charge for copies? For postage? Do they routinely use delivery services instead of the US Postal Service? Do they charge for faxes? You need to know, if only so you're not surprised when you open the first bill.
Think you're ready to choose a lawyer? Good. Oh, one last thing. When all else fails, go with your gut. If it feels right, if it feels comfortable, it probably is. Here in the Trenches.
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