Once Upon a TIme....

...there was a family -  a father, a mother and a daughter.  They all lived together in a house and looked so happy.  Except they weren't.  The mother was not a very good mother, but no one else knew it, because the father was so good at covering her mistakes and making up for them.  He was a very good father.  One day, the family came apart.  They couldn't agree on where their daughter should live.  They had to ask a judge to decide.  The judge decided that the daughter should live with her father and see her mother at limited times.  The judge found that the mother was unfit.  "Unfit" has a special meaning here in the Trenches - it means a parent who lacks basic parenting skills, a parent who can't be trusted to care for their children or keep them safe.  The father was sad, but content, because his daughter was safe.  Unfortunately, his daughter was not happy, and she was almost 14.  By the time the daughter was almost 15, she decided she wanted to live with her mother.  He knew what his daughter wanted, but he needed to keep her safe.  The father wasn't too worried - after all, the judge found the mother unfit, and nothing had changed. So, off to court they went, for the second time in 2 years.  The end of this story?  The daughter went to live with the mother.  Wait a minute, did I say the mother.  Yup.  The second judge didn't care that the mother was unfit.  He didn't care that the daughter wouldn't be safe with her.  The second judge only cared about what the daughter wanted.  That's it.

Would the result have been different with a different judge?  Probably.  Put that case before the 20 judges on the court and you would get 20 different results, but probably only one that would give custody to that mother.  The father was just unlucky enough to be before the one who didn't care about any of the things important to him.  That's how it sometimes goes here in the Trenches.  That father's case was a slam dunk, except that it wasn't.  When I tell clients that how the case goes depends on the pick of the judge, I mean it.  Justice has very little to do with it, and fighting the case for the principle of the thing doesn't change the outcome.  It just guarantees frustration, both for them and for us.  Here in the Trenches.