Grief and Loss

I'm trying to write about loss, and I'm at a loss for words.   No pun intended.  Loss is so much a part of our lives. Sometimes, it's the loss of a marriage; sometimes, the loss of someone you love; sometimes, it's the loss of a dream.  When we suffer loss, people tell us how sorry they are, how painful it must be, to take all the time we need.  Sure, they mean what they say - at the time.  As the days drag into weeks and into months, those same people want to know why you haven't gotten over it yet.  Why are you still grieving; after all, it's been months already.  Grief is a long and difficult process.  Everyone has to move through it at their own pace.  Some people go quickly, but most don't.  If you think about what is being grieved, it makes sense.  No one grieves for something or someone that isn't important to them, that hasn't been a major part of their very being and existence.  What we grieve is part of us and integral to our lives. It or they are interwoven in the fabric of our lives.  We have little control over loss and grief.  They sneak up on us and are present in all the little things of our days.  A smell, a look, a place, a song, a manner of speech, the color of someone's eyes - all of those remind us consciously or not of what we've lost.  It takes time before those reminders stop incapacitating us, but rather remind us fondly  of the thing or person we lost.  Here in the Trenches, we see a lot of loss, and feel a lot of pain.  The average divorce takes a year, sometimes more, from start to finish.  I'm amazed at the number of people whose loved ones were supportive and understanding at the beginning of the process, but who can't understand why the client hasn't moved on by the end.  It takes at least a year for the legal process to work a divorce through the system; why should it take any less time for the parties to that divorce to grieve?  Please remember that when someone you love gets divorced.  Here in the Trenches.