I Issue An Invitation, But Will You Take It?

I often issue invitations to my clients.  I request that they look at things a little differently.  I ask that instead of ascribing nefarious motives to the other parent or spouse, that they suspend judgment and give the other the benefit of the doubt.  I ask that they approach the settlement of the financial issues in their case as a business deal instead of the heart wrenching end of their marriage and the unravelling of their life as spouses.  I ask that they control the urge to add a personal "shot" to their emails.  I beg them to halt the overt accusations.  Do they listen?  Some of them do; others do not.  When they listen, I have great hope for their future.  It means that they are capable of seeing shades of grey and are not black and white in their thinking.  It means that they are emotionally healthy enough to understand their emotions, although healthy, may not be their friend in dealing with the former partner or the legal system.  It means they are open-minded enough to think there may be a different way to deal with others that might yield a better result.  What about the ones who don't hear me?  Who don't heed my advice? Many of them remain stuck.  They rarely move forward with their lives.  They can't compromise.  They let the anger and the pain rule their actions.  They wonder why they never have a civil conversation with their former partner.  They rage that their former partner is unreasonable.  Years later, they're still bitter and angry.  The one who listen to my advice?  They've moved on, and are living happy lives.  I know.  They keep in touch and let me know that they're glad they accepted my invitation.  Where would you rather be in 10 years - angry or content?  Your choice.  Here in the Trenches.