Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Every once in a while, I have to repeat myself.  Today is one of those days.  The Trenches is a small community.  Mostly everyone who works here knows each other.  Many of us like each other.  They become our friends.  It's only natural, as these are the people we are around day in and day out.  Our associations are fluid in that sometimes we work together on projects, to teach classes, to make presentations to the public.  Then, we turn around and oppose each other in court or act as a mediator, a neutral, in the case in which one of our friends and colleagues is the attorney (sometimes it's both attorneys).  Clients don't understand how we can do that.  We can.  It's our training.  We are taught as litigators and lawyers to advocate for our clients within the law to the best of our ability, to keep their secrets and to present their case in the best possible light to the court or the other side.  It is what we are paid to do.  We know it's not personal.  We throw each other under the bus on occasion, then have lunch together.  We compartmentalize.  As mediators, we are trained to facilitate discussion and settlement.  We help the parties problem solve.  We might raise issues for the parties to consider, points of law they may not have thought about.  We might also spend more time with one side than another, not because we like them but because we need to in that particular case.  We don't force anyone to make a decision.  Our training is to be impartial.  Again, it's what we do.
        Some clients don't understand this dynamic, and I admit that to the outside world, it can seem somewhat strange.  To us, it's normal.  In fact, if you're a client, you want us to be friendly and collegial.  Huh?  It's true.  As a lawyer, when I know, respect and perhaps like my opposing counsel, I know how they work.  I know how they think.  I know how they litigate a case.  I know how they negotiate a case.  I know when they've reached their bottom line.  I know we can reach agreement on the ministerial parts of our job, such as order of presenting in court,  narrowing of the issues, timing of depositions and the like; that saves the client a lot of money.  Our relationship makes it easier to map the course of the case.  I still fight hard and so do they; that never changes whether they're my friend or not.
The same applies when a friend or colleague is the mediator.  They know when I've reached my bottom line.  They know when I have more room to negotiate.  That makes mediation so much easier on the clients because the mediator knows when to fold 'em and when to push a bit more.  It saves a lot of unnecessary time around the mediation table, again saving the client money.  I would never dream of pushing someone to settle because the other side is my friend, and I don't know any friend or colleague here in the Trenches who would do that either.  Our relationship simply makes things move smoother; it doesn't make settling any easier.  If I don't like and respect you?  It's a long bumpy road to resolution because there is no knowledge and there is no trust.  Here in the Trenches.