What Did You Say?

As you all know, I recently got hearing aids.  I went back to the audiologist for my one month checkup.  She asked me how often I wore my hearing aids.  My answer was that I wear them all times except sleeping, bathing, swimming and activities when I know I will be sweating heaviliy (moisture is the enemy of hearaing aids).  She was.....surprised.  That's right.  She was surprised.  I asked her why.  She told me most people don't wear them all the time.  Now it was turn to be amazed.  Why wouldn't I want to hear well all the time?  I spent a lot of money on these.  They so improved the quality of my life, I can't imagine not wanting to weaar them as much as possible.  Then, I stopped and thought of my parents.  My father didn't wear his all the time.  He didn't get them serviced as often he should.  He would get upset because he couldn't hear, but he didn't do what he needed to hear.  He knew he would have a fuller like with the hearing aids in, but he just didn't wear them  My mother just got her hearing aids.  She doesn't wear them all the time either.  Why not?  Well, she says there's no real reason when no one is there and she's not talking on the phone.  Not for me.  Anything that helps me enjoy my life more and make it easier is something I want to use.  All the time.

Wow.  Who knew audiologists and lawyers in the Trenches had so much in common?  Here in the Trenches, we have clients who listen to our advice and take it to heart.  They incorporate it into their lives and use it in all of their dealings with their spouse or coparent, and with everyone else.  It makes their lives easier, their case goes better and smoother.  Some of our clients hear our advice and consciously decide not to take it, kind of like my dad when he decided not to use his hearing aids.  He knew his life would be better with them, but he chose a different path.  He decided to be obstinate and not do what he needed to do to make life better.  We have clients like that, who decide they don't want to take our advice.  Usually, their road is a lot bumpier, more full of potholes.  Many times their case doesn't turn out as well as it could because of it and their interactions with their spouse or coparent continue to be difficult long after the case ends.   Most of our clients are like my mom.  They hear our advice.  Sometimes they heed it and sometimes they don't.  Sometimes they're just faking it in public, but in private don't take it to heart.  That's OK.  I always say to fake it until you make it.  Even though the best result is when you internalize the advice, sometimes it makes almost as good a result if you just act as though you did.  Sure, my mom's life would be fuller if she wore her hearing aids all the time, but wearing them just when it matters most means she still gets value from them.  Kind of like behaving yourself in your interactions with your spouse or co-parent, even if you really think they're an ass..  It still makes your life easier.  Here in the Trenches.