Break Out the Violins

Sometimes it's hard to work up sympathy for our clients.  It's not that we don't like them or that we don't think their case has merit.  We believe in their positions and we will put them forth forcefully.  There are just a few things we don't understand.  Why do they grab defeat from the jaws of victory?  Why do they get what they want and then throw it away?  Why do they let their now ex-spouse push them around?  Of course, then there are the clients who think that if only they could just sit down in a room with their spouse, they could work all their issues out.  They ignore the fact that their spouse doesn't trust them, they were never able to talk, and their spouse doesn't agree with their point of view.  Then, when things go wrong and don't go the way they want, they call us and want us to fix it, to make it all better.  That's when we have trouble with the sympathy.  It doesn't mean we don't understand.  We know old habits are hard to break.  Dysfunctional ways of relating are sometimes the hardest to change.  We get it.  We feel for them.  (We feel more for the ones who are trying to change the pattern, but we still care.)  It can be frustrating,  however.  Not only are we fighting for our client's cause, we are also fighting our client's nature and behavior.  Sometimes, it makes us want to scream.  Here in the Trenches.