Right now, we have any number of soon to be former spouses who we can't stand. You'd think it would happen more often here in the Trenches. After all, our clients are divorcing them, and we like our clients (for the most part), so we must dislike the other spouse. Right? Wrong. Usually, we understand that there are two sides to every story, and to most stories, neither side is completely without merit. Most people we see in the Trenches, whether they are our clients or their spouses, are fairly decent people who have made poor choices, are flooded with emotions and need guidance to move on. Most of them are not people who take pleasure in their former partner's pain. Except right now. We have three or four clients whose spouses are acting in truly heinous ways. They are not flooded with emotion; rather, they are cold and calculating and looking for any way to inflict maximum pain upon their spouse. We understand they don't want to stay married. We're sure that hurt was inflicted on both sides. We know everyone feels wronged. It's normal to feel angry and want revenge. There is a point at which those feelings should pass. For these folks, that point is long gone. Their anger and need to destroy their spouse is not normal. They get pleasure out of debasing their spouse. Unfortunately for them, debasing our client means those of us in the Trenches have to go to greater lengths and fight harder to help our client struggle back to even ground. Their spouse is never quite so pleased with their selves at the end. Fighting for equity is what we do - here in the Trenches.
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