Sniffle, Snuffle

I have the flu/ cold, or whatever it is that is going around.  I am one of the top five worst patients in the free world, of that I am firmly convinced.  You see, I am almost never ill.  I believe the last time was about five years ago.  So, when I do catch something, I am pitiful.  I snuffle, I moan, I ask for soup and hot water bottles and teddy bears.  I even sound pathetic.  My voice is raspy, I cough a lot, and just generally sound awful.  I hate lying down doing nothing (which is why I'm sitting here doing my blog).  I'm miserable and want tea and sympathy.  Because I am almost never sick and because I never stay sick for long, I usually get it.  All the "poor baby" and "feel better"  make me actually feel better.  I feel not so alone.
As I was lying here in my sick bed, I started thinking about how being sick is like our clients here in the Trenches.  Most of them have never been through a divorce or a custody fight.  It's unpleasant.  They feel lousy.  So, they complain about how lousy it is and how awful they feel.  They tell everyone.  At first, they get a lot of sympathy.  Everyone feels bad for them.  It makes them feel better to know they're not alone.  Unfortunately, their family law matter lasts way longer than the cold or the flu.  It doesn't mean that the need for validation, for sympathy, for support or for understanding goes away, because it doesn't.  As the family law matter hangs on, however, our Greek chorus gets tired.  After all, how many "poor baby" can you say before it feels either inadequate or stale?  It is at this stage when the family law matter becomes more like a chronic or terminal illness.  The patient knows the strategy has to change, and they need more and different from what they needed when the illness was new or less serious.  They need friends who just show up.  Friends who bring food.  Friends who bring a movie.  Friends who give a ride.  Friends who just stop by.  You see, it's easy to say all the right things to people when what's the matter isn't serious or lengthy.  It's quite another thing to be there for the long haul.   At the end of the day, what kind of friend would you want?  What kind would you want to be?  Here in the Trenches.

BTW, today is both my Faher's 92nd birthday and the 11 month anniversary of our losing our Office T.  Happy birthday Daddy.  We miss you Curtis.