Divorce is a Journey

I miss blogging.  There are times when I struggle for what to say, but I love talking to you in this medium.  My home computer, where I do most of my writing, is no longer able to connect with Blogger, so my posts are very sporadic while I investigate EXHAUSTIVELY all my options. This is, of course, typical for me, as I tend to over-investigate every choice I have to make, whether it involves spending money or not.  OK, I worry it to death.  Now, if you needed to get something, I'd help you make that decision in a heartbeat....and that is our discussion for today.

You know that I am a big Brene Brown fan.  As a matter of fact, I'm taking her online course right now.  It's really difficult; this self-discovery stuff is hard.  As part of the course, I took Kristen Neff's assessment of self compassion.  I failed in the "self" part.  It seems I have oodles of compassion for others, but not much for myself.  I'm my own toughest critic - big surprise, right?  To do the work I do, I need to have a lot of compassion for others, but I think it's funny that I urge others to practice self-compassion.  I guess that those who don't do, teach.  I'm learning to be aware of when I'm coming down too hard on myself and cut myself a break; to be more understanding and forgiving of myself.  As a result, I'm enjoying life a lot more.

Mindfulness is becoming a huge part of what we do here in the Trenches.  So much of what we do is about helping our clients learn to let go and create a life after they leave us.  I've known that for years; it appears the rest of the world is figuring it out.  That would explain the popularity of Jeena Cho, and the rise in popularity of books like Splitopia: Dispatches from Today's Good Divorce and How to Part Well by Wendy Paris.  The fact is that what you get out of life depends on what you put into it and how you view it;  your divorce is no different.   Whether divorce is part of your life and your learn from it or something you never get past and over, is your choice.  I love reading Jeena's posts about mindfulness and law practice on Facebook and Twitter.  I just came across Wendy when I was catching up on another of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin, and found her interview with Wendy here.  It was intriguing and lead me, in turn, to Wendy's "The Principles of Parting."  I commend it to you, think you should print out multiple copies and tape them everywhere.  Life, even divorce, is a journey.  What kind of journey is up to you.  Here in the Trenches.