Once a winter, like clockwork, I let my concentration lag while running, hit a crack in the sidewalk and go down. That day was Tuesday. Luckily, I had time to twist to the side, so I hit grass. Unluckily, I twisted the opposite hamstring while doing it. Never mind that I rolled, popped up and announced to my staring neighbor that I was great. I was not. I limped home. I’m still limping, which means I’m not running.
I have a race in a month. Between my sinus surgery, my bronchitis in December, and now my pulled hamstring, I know I will not meet my goal of out-kicking Daughter down the final stretch. After my 10K in October, where I almost broke an hour, I was really looking forward to continued improvement. I was stoked to out-kick Daughter next month. I am disappointed that goal won’t be met. I could take my running shoes and go home. I could decide it’s not worth running if I can’t meet my goal. If you know me, you know that’s not what I’m doing. I’m rethinking my goal. My new goal is finishing strong. I’ve told my coaches that needs to be the new goal. I’m regrouping. Let’s be clear, regrouping is not giving up. Even though I can’t meet my original goal, I can reach a goal. My original goal is still there for next year.
The people who come to me here in the Trenches had goals. Their goals were to be happily married until death us do part. Their goals were to be successful coparents in the same house until their children were grown. Their goals were to be that couple that’s always in sync. They had lots of goals related to a lifelong marriage or relationship. That they’re in my office means they didn’t meet those goals. The reason they didn’t meet them doesn’t matter. What matters is that those goals are now unattainable. It’s OK for them to be disappointed. It’s not OK for them to be stuck.
People think that all that those of us do here in the Trenches is resolve the legal issues of divorce. That’s what some of us do. Most of us, however, work really hard to help our clients see past their time in the Trenches. We help them create new goals and visions for their future lives. We help them see what goals are possible and what are not. Their happily ever after isn’t there the day they walk into our offices. If we’re doing our jobs, though, our clients have vision for new goals and how to attain them when they walk out. Here in the Trenches.