There are weeks when I love my job; and there are weeks when it takes an entire weekend to recover. As you all know, I love reading blogs. I must have 25-30 I read on a regular basis. Some of them are law related, and some are not. The law management related ones periodically list things that lawyers ought to do to maintain client satisfaction. I try to follow those; although I am not always successful, I keep plugging away, because I would like to be my clients' bright spot in their divorce journey.
What I realize as I read blog after blog, is that there are plenty of opportunities out there for clients to complain about lawyers, and there are tons of blogs as to how we can provide better customer service, but there are precious few blogs out there that help clients be better clients. I periodically post my dos and don't, and lately, it feels like we need an update. Here goes.
1. Do be an active participant in your divorce. Don't throw it in my lap and tell me to take care of it. Don't drop off the face of the earth. Don't ignore me. Without your input, I will negotiate for what works for me and that may not be what works for you.
2. Don't treat me like the drive through at McDonalds/Burger King/Wendy's. I can't drop everything every time you call or email. At any one time, I have 20-30 active clients, all of whom need my help, but not all of whom have issues that are time sensitive. After all of these years in the Trenches, I'm pretty good at figuring out what is and isn't an emergency. I will get back to you in a timely manner, I promise, and rest assured, when you have an emergency, you are at the top of my list. When everything is an emergency, eventually nothing is. Do remember that.
3. Do what I ask you to do. When I ask you to do something, it's because I need you to do it in order for me to do my job. I don't make up tasks simply to keep you busy. When I don't hear from you, and don't receive anything from you when I've asked, I figure you're not doing what I've asked. Don't then turn around and tell me I'm not doing my job when your inaction has made that impossible.
4. Don't expect your failure to plan to become my emergency. If you didn't realize Christmas was December 25, or July 4 was on....well, July 4, until the day before, don't think that I can work a miracle and save your holiday plans. Similarly, if you refused to plan, refused to listen to my advice to plan, and everything goes to hell in a hand basket, don't think I can fix that in a New York minute either.
5. Do make time for me. I know you're busy living your life. I don't really ask for much of your time, but when I need it, I need it. I need you to make time to prepare for mediation and to prepare for court. Don't simply show up on the day of mediation and wonder why nothing gets accomplished; or come to trial unprepared and wonder why things don't go your way.
6. Do come to terms with reality. Even if you didn't want the divorce, if your spouse does, it is going to happen. If you want to be friends with your ex and she doesn't, it's not going to happen. Don't let your fantasy of getting back together or being that couple who remains friends after divorce get in the way of your making sure you will be OK post divorce. Don't give away the farm so she doesn't get angry or refuse to make a decision so it will never end. A good therapist is invaluable.
7. Don't expect me to act out your revenge fantasy. Yup, flip side of #6. Your divorce is one of the hundreds I have handled. It will be over and you will leave me. My relationship with other attorneys and with the court will live on. I've worked really, really hard to cultivate good relationships with all of them, and that is to your advantage. If we all play nice in the sandbox, you get more of what you need because the other side is more motivated to work out a win/win with someone they like. Judges also are more likely to believe an attorney whose arguments are grounded in reasonableness and who are trustworthy with the court.
8. Do say "thank you" every once in a while. I know we're doing our jobs, but we're people too. We pour our hearts and souls into you and your case. We lose sleep over what happens to you. We work really hard for you, and not just because it's our jobs. It feels good to be appreciated.
9. I've also noticed that the clients who don't do #8, don't do this one. Do pay me. I know it's expensive. I try hard to keep your costs down. I depend on your payment to pay my rent, my paralegals and for my Puppy Boy. When I don't get paid, those expenses still need to be paid. I know money can get tight, but at least call me. Tell me what's going on. Let me know when and how much you can pay me. I'm human; we'll work it out. When you don't pay me and don't call me to work it out, I figure you don't appreciate what I do and that you have no intention of paying me. That's the surest way to lose your lawyer and get sued for fees. So, do pick up the phone.
10. Don't kill the messenger. I didn't marry your spouse. I didn't have children with them. I didn't buy a house at the height of the market. I didn't fail to save for retirement. I can only work with the facts I'm given. There's only so much I can do with them.
Thanks for listening to me. Here in the Trenches.
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