Regaining Control

I moved into the Frederick office three years ago.  My contractor set up the office so I could install rope lighting in the soffit area of all the rooms in the office except the copy room and bathroom.  Then, he didn't install it.  A year ago, I installed the lighting in the conference room.  It looked great.  I ran the rope lighting in my office, but didn't finish it up.  So, for the last two years, the view from my desk was two coils of rope lighting and cords in my bookcase.  It annoyed me every day.  Today, we had office cleanup day. We closed and destroyed files, and installed the rope lighting in my office and the other office.  I am ridiculously happy.  I mean it - ridiculously happy.  Such a little thing, just an hour of work, and I am thrilled.  Now, about the hood emblem that was taken off my car.....

Life is all about what you will tolerate and what you won't.  Most people tolerate a lot of things in their marriage.  That's part of living with another person.  When the marriage is going well, it's no big deal to tolerate imperfections or different ways of doing things.  When a marriage is ending, all those little things are major annoyances.  Then, when a couple separates, things are usually not just as perfect as either of them wants - more tolerations.  

This is what I want you to do. Make a list of all the things that aren't as you want, but that you're tolerating.  It will be a very long list, trust me.  Some of them will be big and others will be small.  Now, get to work getting rid of them, one at a time.  When you're here in the Trenches, you have no control over whether you're getting a divorce, you may be in a process which gives you no control, and your life is changing in unexpected ways.  Here's a place you can exercise some control.  It will make you feel better, and make all the rest of the things you can't control tolerable.  Trust me.  Give it a try.  Here in the Trenches.