Graduations, Weddings and Funerals

Daughter is here visiting with me and her grandparents for a few days.  Whenever the two of us are visiting grandma and grandpa, we have some things that we always do.  The things that we do, we do a certain way.  It's our ritual, and it wouldn't feel right if we didn't follow it.  Hard to believe, but it reminds me of....the Trenches (shocking, I know!).  We have rituals for many things in our lives.  Some of them are little informal rituals, like with Daughter and me.  Some of them are more formal and structured, like weddings, graduations and funerals.  We use rituals to mark important times, places and relationships.  So why isn't there a ritual for divorce?  Don't say it's because it's not a pleasant experience; there is nothing pleasant about a funeral, and yet we still have them.  I suspect that there is no ritual for divorce because in our social order, it is still a transition and rite of passage infused with shame.  In a lot of ways, our society has changed and we view divorce in a more benevolent light.  Long life, greater equality between the sexes, and evolving definitions of family have led to an understanding that the reasons people remained in unhappy, unproductive marriages or marriages that no longer meet the needs of the partners don't apply, and that for many, divorce is as much a rite of passage as a graduation or a marriage.  The problem is that we have not created a ritual that helps these folks and those who care about them move on.  Not only do we not have a ritual for the divorcing partners, but we also lack one to help their friends and family begin to attain closure and to grieve for the loss of the marital relationship.  Isn't it about time we did?