You're Right - He's an Ass

Judges are not in the revenge business.  They are not paid to punish a spouse for bad behavior.  They are not paid to right wrongs, parent your children, or vindicate a wronged spouse.  Judges are paid to make decisions according to the laws in the statute books and prior court decisions.  That's it; the sum total of what they are paid to do.  Keeping with our theme this week of magical thinking, many clients think that if, somehow, the Judge would just hear their story, they would announce who was the better spouse (them, of course), the better parent (them again), and most importantly, that their spouse was a bad parent or an evil person.  Here in the Trenches, it doesn't work that way.   Judges have seen it all, and very little is presented in their courtrooms that moves them to indict a party for behaving like a jerk (not that it doesn't sometimes happen, because it does).  If it's money, they look at the numbers, and unless one party has done something extremely heinous, they divide it down the center.  If it's children, they look at where and how the child will get his or her needs met, while having both parents be as full participants in their life as possible.  Fault plays a part, but not nearly as large or important a part as most clients think.  The reason why is that judges, having seen it all, know that at the end of a marriage or intimate relationship, people behave really badly.  Emotions take over, and hurt feelings rule.  The law is not emotional, so judges try to remove it from the equation.  Does that create a disconnect between client expectations and judicial reality?  You betcha.  Managing client expectations is a huge, and sometimes the most difficult, part of what we do - here in the Trenches.