What Did You Understand Me to Say?

I LOVE this cartoon, and for a couple of reasons, it's perfect for this blog.  First, you know what I say about attorneys and their clients - they are like dogs and their owners.  Have you ever noticed that people own dogs that resemble them?

The same is true with clients and their attorneys.  A truly successful attorney - client relationship in family law is comprised of a client with an attorney whose philosophy about the practice of law, and the values that are important in life reflect those of the client.  In other words, the dog looks like the owner.

      Sorry, but I digress: back to the cartoon.  I love this cartoon because it reminds me that sometimes our audience doesn't understand what we're saying, even though it appears they do.  I'm not talking about the inability to hear because emotions get in the way.  I am talking about true misunderstandings - the type they made slapstick routines about.  Most misunderstandings arise because we make assumptions when we speak.  We assume that because someone is looking at us with rapt attention, they understand what is being said to them.  We assume that because we understand what we're saying, that the listener will as well.  Unfortunately, a lot of the time, the listener hears, "Blah, blah, blah."  I have to remind myself constantly that my clients have never been through a divorce before, so they don't understand our legal jargon, that they come from differing socio-economic and educational backgrounds, both of which affect their understanding, and sometimes, they make their own assumptions while they listen that affect the meaning of the words.  I hesitate to ask clients to repeat what they heard, but it would probably reduce my emails and phone conversations.  So, if I ask you to tell me what you heard, I'm not being condescending; I'm showing I care that you understand.