Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Let's talk a little bit more about Puppy Girl. What I didn't tell you in my last post was that as my Dad's health started to go downhill, he began to lose his taste for all the things he used to love to eat. First, he stopped being interested in things that required a lot of chewing. Then, it progressed to things for which he loved the taste. Then, everything had to be pureed. Finally, he couldn't swallow. So, when Puppy Girl started to become a finicky eater, I had flashbacks to my Dad. It was like reliving his decline all over again. I was a wreck (hence the lack of posts), and had a hard time keeping myself together. Luckily, instinct took over, finally, and I started to problem solve. My panic subsided, and here I am. Therapists would say I was having a little post traumatic stress moment.
Here in the Trenches, we deal with post traumatic stress a lot. It happens most often in the early stages of a separation and divorce, when emotions are raw, and everything is reminiscent of the painful portions of the marriage. Going to trial, with its emphasis on reliving the past, only re-traumatizes and forces clients to revisit painful events. When the trial is over or the separation agreement is signed, most clients breathe a huge sigh of relief because the trauma is over. Well, maybe. At some point, somewhere down the line, there will be a smell, a look, an event, and all of a sudden they're transported back to that more painful time. It's terrifying. It's also normal. Usually, so long as they keep perspective, the moment will pass and life will go on. If it doesn't, then it's a sign that professional help is called for. It's all about grieving and healing. Here in the Trenches.