The Puppies Teach Us Another Lesson

The pups are very happy I'm back from Annapolis.  Mommy is the one who takes them for more walks and gives them their daily treats.  It's not that they don't love their Daddy; he's just different than Mommy.  The pups behave differently when I'm home.  When I'm away, neither of them gets up on the bed to cuddle at night, and they both stay off the couch.  When I'm home, they cuddle up on the bed with us all night, and take turns lying between us on the couch (should have bought a larger couch, but who knew I'd have bigger dogs?).  When I'm home, they get up early to go out; when I'm away, they sleep until 10 or 11.   When I go away, it takes them a bit to get their bearings with just Daddy; and when I come home, it takes them some time to get used to my being home.  We recognize it and help them adjust.  As you know, my pups reflect what goes on in the Trenches.  How many times do we hear parents say that their child doesn't do something at their house that they do with the other parent; or that they do something with them, so of course they must do it with the other parent?  Then there's the blame game; that something must be wrong in the other house because the child does or doesn't do X or Y.  Well, my pups act very differently with Mommy than with Daddy.  They always have.  Part of it has to do with the difference in our "parenting" style.  Part of it has to do with the differences in the things we do with them and the way we do them.  Part of it has to do with what the way they relate to our different personalities.  It's pretty normal (kind of like the way your children have wonderful manners at someone else's house but not at home).  It's also pretty normal that things are different in each house, that their children have different relationships with each parent, and that each parent is different.  What's important is that parents recognize that it's hard for children to transition between their parents for a variety of reasons, neither good nor bad, and that it is both of their jobs to help make that transition easier for them. They chose to separate, not their children, so as easy as they can make the movement between the houses on them, the better.  That's what children need - here in the Trenches.