Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Do As I Say, Not As I Do


Sometimes people want to know how we manage to work in the Trenches, day in and day out, and not burn out.  Truth is, it's not always easy, and some days are easier than others.  Doing this work requires your full attention, and our own lives can get in the way.  After all, those of us who work in the Trenches are only human after all.   Do people do the strangest things?  You bet, we could write volumes.  My volume today, and maybe for the week, is the difference between those who do something because they can't control themselves, and those who act the same way because they think its effective.  Yesterday's "loud and angry" is but one example.  Today's is self sabotage.
You know what I'm talking about.  It is the action that is obvious to every onlooker that someone either should or should not do, and the person does exactly the opposite.  It's the person who knows they're being followed, yet still meets the paramour.  It's the person who knows their drinking is being monitored and goes out and has multiple drinks at the bar or puts the empties out in the recycling.  It's the person whose ability to cooperate with the other parent is at issue, and does something so antagonistic as to be breathtaking.   Part of our job here in the Trenches is to determine why our clients do some of the things they do.  Are they too emotional to think clearly?  Do they feel guilty?  Do they think that what they are doing is helpful to their cause?  Do they simply not care?  We need to understand before we can truly help them.   To help them sometimes we engage in damage control; sometimes in education; sometimes we send them to treatment.  It can be exhausting, but it's what we do.  Here in the Trenches.

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