Thursday, March 7, 2013

Everything In Its Own Time


 I have a case I need to settle before Monday's trial, so off to the office I went.  I still didn't feel well, and given my druthers, I really could have used another day in bed, but I had no choice.  The funny thing is, once I got to the office, I started to feel better.  It's not that what I was doing was so scintillating, because it wasn't.  In fact, I started to fell so much better that I even took the puppies for a walk when I got home.  I still have my cold.  I'm still coughing and hacking, and physically, I'm only slightly improved from yesterday.  Yet, I feel so much better.  I started to think about why.  Well, for starters, I had a change of scenery.  True, my bedroom is quite lovely, but after 4 or 5 days, the view is old.  Second, I was around other people.  Not a lot of people, but a few.  Third, I had something to do besides count the seconds between coughs.
It's very lonely going through a divorce.  The world as you knew it has crumbled and is lying in pieces around you.  You know the pieces will go back together, albeit in a slightly different way - eventually.  Right now, it hurts.  It's so tempting to just stay home and be alone with your pain. Most people do - at least for a while.  It feels comfortable.  You think you're doing better, not much better, but better.  Maybe if you just keep to yourself a few more days....then a few more days.  Eventually, you decide to go out and be around others.  Wow.  You start to feel so much better, so much faster.  Why didn't you do this earlier?  Frankly, even though you now feel so much better, you couldn't have done this earlier. Like my cold, you needed a time to rest, for your body and mind to begin to heal, before you could take yourself to the next step of rebuilding your life and your relationships.  Life is like that, whether it's our bodies or our minds, everything has to progress at its own pace.  You have to feel the pain before you can heal.  Embrace it, but not for too long.  We miss you.  Here in the Trenches.

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