Sometimes, It's Enough to Just Get Out of Bed

After over two years of sinus infections (OK, maybe just the same sinus infection I never overcame), visits to the naturopath, the acupuncturist, the Chinese herbalist, the immunologist,  and the ENT, I finally had sinus surgery 10 days ago.  It was major surgery - general anesthesia and overnight hospital stay.  The blessing and the curse was that I have had no pain. The other interesting thing about may surgery is that it's invisible to the naked eye - no one but me and my surgeon can tell I've had it done, unless I tell you.  Because I have no pain, I think I should be doing better than I am.  Because I can't see a scar, I think the surgery wasn't so serious.  I feel like I should be able to go to work, walk a few miles, do some shopping and housekeeping, and still feel fine.  The reality is I work half a day and need a nap.  I walk a mile or two and lie down for a couple of hours.  I do some housecleaning and have to be careful not to lift anything over 5 pounds, or I feel awful from the strain and I need another nap.  I have to keep reminding myself to cut myself some slack, because, after all, I just had major surgery.  It's hard to remember, but thankfully my body reminds

Grief is a lot like my sinuses.  It's invisible to the naked eye.  Unless the grieving person tells you, or are otherwise aware of the circumstances, you may never know they grieve.  Some days, grief is overwhelming.  Other days, you forget it's there....until it reminds you.  The problem with grief is its invisibility.  Others can't see it either and because they're not experiencing it, they forget it's there too.    After time, you figure you should be feeling better; other people figure you should be feeling better.  Funny thing about "should", all it adds is stress.  Just like my post-op self will feel better when I heal,  you will stop grieving when it's time, and not before.  That may mean never, or that may mean tomorrow.  You can't rush the grieving process.  Here in the Trenches.