Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Form Over Substance


Sometimes, you just have to meet the other side where they are.  In the past few weeks, my clients and I have attended mediation in two different cases.  In both cases, my client made a settlement proposal structured along one line of reasoning and approach to the family assets, and their spouse's counter-proposal approached the family assets in an entirely different way.  In each case, we had two choices: we could have stuck to our guns and insisted that the other spouse approach the settlement from our point of view, or we could regroup slightly and find a way to fit what our client needed into their spouse's framework.  In both cases, I chose the latter (oh, you figured that out, didn't you?), but it took a lot of work to convince my client of the wisdom of that path.  Here in the Trenches, clients are used to everything being a power play, and it's hard for them to back down.  They see it as a sign of weakness.  Part of what we do here in the Trenches is help our clients move forward with their lives, and part of that is to help them learn to pick their battles, and decide what's really important.  My clients?  We revamped our offers so they mirrored the form of their spouse's, while keeping their own substance.  I think it will help the cases settle.  Keep your fingers crossed - here in the Trenches.

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