She's Getting Married

One of my friends is getting married in four days.  It's her second marriage; his too.  Funny thing, is that she swore she would never marry again.  Now, she's getting married, and she's so ridiculously happy about it that she glows.  I'm so happy for her.  Of course, you know that all this makes me think about the trenches, as it should, because my friend is also a colleague here in the trenches.  Her decision to marry raises a lot of questions about marriage and our attitudes toward it.  Did she really not want to marry, or did she just not want to marry because he wasn't asking?  I think the decision not to remarry was sincere, as it is with most of us who decide not to marry a second time.  Her relationship didn't need a judicial decree to make it real - the commitment was there regardless of what the law might say.   What changed her mind and his was that circumstances changed.  A serious health scare, a promotion and a possible move away, it doesn't matter what it was, just that it was serious enough to make them both rethink their priorities and decide that it wasn't enough that they knew how they felt about each other.  They wanted the world to know and to witness and formalize their declaration of that commitment to each other.  When we hear all of the debate about marriage and whether it should be only between a man and a woman, the discussion usually comes around to procreation and the need for marriage to people the species.  Although continuing the species is important, it is not the only or even the most important reason to marry, otherwise, why would older couples marry?  We have marriages for the different stages of our lives, to meet our different and unique needs at each.  Sometimes, it's the same marriage and the couple evolves, and sometimes, it's different marriages.  Sometimes, it's between a man and a woman, and sometimes, it's not.  We're a social species; why shouldn't we marry for social as well as for biological reasons?  Whatever the reason,  it takes a lot of courage to join yourself with another, making that commitment in front of friends and family, and joining yourselves together legally and economically.  It is not a decision made lightly or easily by most, but once made it is to be celebrated by society.  A long and happy life together, my friends.