If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you might have guessed that I deal with a lot of high conflict people on a daily basis. Some of them are my clients, some of them are their spouses, some of them are opposing counsel, and some of them are friends and loved ones. The fact is that we all deal with high conflict people regularly. I have a confession - as much as these folks are in my life, I struggle with the best ways to deal with them. A large part of that struggle is keeping up the energy level. It takes a lot of work and thought to interact with the high conflict folks. To do it successfully means that you are constantly paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues, both theirs and yours, and watching what you say and how you say it. Any unguarded moment or communication can undo weeks of careful work to build rapport. It's physically tiring, emotionally draining and intellectually taxing.
All of these high conflict folks would pull us under water here in the Trenches - if we let them. We don't. Sometimes it's hard, because they do get to us. What we have to remember is to respect our own boundaries, take time for ourselves, remember that it's not about us, and find the humour.
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