What if?

I never lose anything.  Not the things everyone else loses, like pens and sunglasses.  Not even the things I would like to lose.  I have, however, lost my mobile hotspot.  I have looked where I usually keep it (my purse - yes, I've checked all of them), my briefcases, the floor of my car (both of them), and the inside of every client file, folder and box in my office.  It's not there.  Period.  So I have to go buy a new one.  You know once I replace it, the old one will show up.  That thought has probably been what has kept me from replacing it yet.  It's human nature to think that lost items will reappear, and that if we wait longer, something better will come along.  It's also what causes buyer's remorse, that feeling that if the other side to a negotiation accepted our offer, we could have done better.
We see buyer's remorse a lot here in the Trenches.  Negotiating a divorce or custody agreement is a negotiation like most others, with one very important difference.  Not only do we distrust the other side (no difference there - who really trusts a car salesman?), but we have the additional emotional underlay of broken promises and unmet expectations.  The hardest thing to do here in the Trenches is to focus on what you want and need, without regard to what your former spouse/the other parent thinks you should have.  Of course, you won't reach settlement if the other party doesn't also get their wants and needs meant, and we need to be mindful of that.  The point is, however, if you've done the hard work of figuring out what you want, need and will find acceptable, does it really matter if the other side agrees to that easily?  Of course it doesn't.  That is why, however, here in the Trenches we work very hard to help our clients really figure out what they want and need.  That way, if the other side agrees, they're done and happy for it, as opposed to worrying if they could have done better.  Wonder where my mobile hotspot will turn up....