Especially when it hits close to home. Daughter broke up with her boyfriend this past weekend. No one did anything heinous to precipitate it, it just wasn't working for her. It started me thinking and talking to her about the dynamics of break ups. There is almost always a leaver and a leavee. The leaver has thought about the break up, has worked out the reasons, and mourned the decision. The leavee, even if they thought things might not be great, usually does not expect it, and is not prepared for it. They don't understand the reasons, and can't understand why the leaver is so calm. Surely, there must be something they haven't been told -right? Otherwise, the leaver should be as upset as are they. The problem is that the leavee wasn't part of all the thinking and agonizing that went on in the leaver's head before they made the decision, so it seems like it was such an easy decision for the leaver. It wasn't, believe me. It takes time for the leavee to catch up. Sometimes that doesn't happen, but it usually does. Surviving until then is the trick - for both of them.
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