Preparing for depositions in a particularly vicious litigation case, and starting a new collaborative case in the same day. The goal of the former is to discredit, perhaps humiliate, and most importantly, to win. I prepared all day to prepare an examination to win my client's case. Juxtapose that activity with my having an initial phone call with my collaborative counsel in a new case, and then going to a meeting where I talked to the two coaches in the same collaborative case. The purpose of those latter conversations was to make sure that our clients have the supports and understanding in place so they can separate and divorce with dignity, and in a way that allows both of them to move forward with their lives. Winning and losing were no part of those last conversations - our concentration was on what our clients perceive and what they need from us as professionals to feel safe in the collaborative process. What a contrast, and what an improvement on the way we do things in litigation. Respecting people, validating their story and honoring their values is a much better way to bring closure to what had been at some point a loving relationship, and in many cases one that needs to continue through the lives of their children, than slugging it out in a courtroom.
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