First Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of the death of the husband of a friend of ours here in the Trenches.  This friend is also the daughter of a good friend of ours.  Both of these folks labor in the Trenches alongside us (and sometimes against us).  They're good people and they are good friends to us.  We suffered with them during the husband's long illness, and grieve with them and for them as they deal with his loss.  They say that divorce is like a death.  It's not.  My friend didn't choose to have her husband leave her, nor did she choose to leave him.  That choice was taken from them.  They will not have a chance for a "do over": no opportunity to be better co-parents apart than together.  My friend would give almost anything to have her husband back; their children would love to have their daddy again.  I watch them and I think of our clients here in the Trenches, many of whom would be thrilled if the other parent walked out of their lives forever. When it comes down to it, would they really?  Just because they no longer want to be married to the other parent of their children, and they would so much rather not have to deal with that parent on a continuing basis, would they truly want their children not to experience their other parent while growing up, not to see firsthand where they got their love of science, their baseball throwing arm, their temper?  I think not, but if they do, maybe they should talk to my friend.